You may have noticed that at some point during any library function the topic turns to food, so who am I to fight tradition? Here is your chance, folks; please share your food stories, photos, best recipes, worst disaster and anything in between.

I don’t cook so I will start us out with the recipe a thoughtful friend sent me last year -- thoughtful because she sent the recipe, a friend because she did not send me the cake.

My favorite fruit cake recipe

List of ingredients:

a cup of water,

a cup of sugar,

four large eggs,

two cups of dried fruit,

a teaspoon of baking soda,

a teaspoon of salt,

a cup of brown sugar,

lemon juice, nuts,

one bottle of whisky (large size).

Sample the whisky to check for quality.

Lock the cat out of the kitchen
Get out a large bowl.

Check the whisky again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup.

Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver or maybe a hammer, I forget which.
Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or sugar, err flour? Go with whatever you can find two cups of first.

Check the whisky.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of something. Who cares what.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window.