Humor-Winter 2011
Diet for the Stressed Librarian PDF Print E-mail
Written by Snow Scarmon   


BREAKFAST:
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz. skim milk

LUNCH:
4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie
stressed
MID-AFTERNOON SNACK:
The rest of Oreos in the package
2 pints Rocky Road ice cream, nuts, cherries and whipped cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce

DINNER:
2 loaves garlic bread
4 cans or 1 large pitcher Coke
1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
3 Snickers bars

LATE EVENING NEWS:
Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from freezer)

Remember, "stressed" spelled backwards is "desserts."

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Interpreting Library Job Ads PDF Print E-mail
Written by Snow Scarmon   

   


" ... a challenging position ... "
no one stays more than 12 months

" ... busy library ... "
constant stream of people with nothing better to do, and no where else to go

" ... extensive collection ... "
no weeding has been done for 20 years

" ... maintain archives ..."
several hundred boxes of old papers need filing

rez library caroon" ... multimedia skills are essential... "
we really wanted to hire a computer technician, but the board insisted on a librarian for some reason

" ... must be well organised ... "
things are so chaotic here, someone has to sort out all the mess

" ...stimulating environment ..."
free coffee provided - no de-caff

" ... ability to communicate ... "
everyone is at each other's throats

" ... have appropriate qualifications ... "
that won't be considered in our decision - we just go on gut feeling here

" ... various library duties ... "
insufficient staff - so you'll be doing the work of 3 people

" ... focus on people-oriented services ... "
difficult clientele

" ... team oriented ... "
all decisions are made by supervisor; and are not open to discussion, amendment or review

" ... leadership qualities ... "
be able to get others to follow ill-considered decisions made by your supervisor

"...provide 3 referees including current employer ..."
because we know your current employer will be so annoyed at your leaving, they will give us a complete run-down of all your shortcomings

http://www.warriorlibrarian.com/LOL/jobads.html